BLUERINSE BRIGADE!!



Pensioners got their own back on a Financial Advisor who lost 2 million of their savings. Apparently, they bundled him into the boot of a car and hit him over the head with "a zimmer frame"...he was probably then subjected to non-stop stories of how things were so much tougher when they were growing up and forced to watch reruns of Murder She Wrote. PENSIONERS KIDNAP ADVISOR
It actually got me thinking about a certain group of lads famous for standing up for the victim: "If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The GRAY-Team"

Is this the world's worst/greatest tattoo:


Obviously a cat lover...now does the bellybutton fluff fall into a tray?

LATEST INSTALLMENT OF ARANMAN THE FOOTBALLING PHILANTHROPIST. THIS WEEK HAS RONNIE WHELAN, SCOTCH EGGS AND THE IRISH COUNTRYWOMAN'S ASSOCIATION - CLICK HERE

50 CENT ON GRAHAM NORTON!
You didn't think you'd ever see that headline but it's true. No, Fiddy hasn't leaped out of the closet and in a loving relationship with Bandon exile Graham. He appeared on the show the other night alongside Jimmy Carr and Catherine Tate. It was actually pretty entertaining. I love Carr's line, "So, 50 you gave yourself a choice, Get Rich or Die Trying. How did that work out for you?!"



Here is the pic that Jimmy Carr took. He threw it up on Twitter just after:


50 Cent and Heaven scent (i think she is wearing impulse i can't help acting on it!)

And here is something I robbed ogff Dave Mac. This guy was in the Irish Examiner today and he has been sentenced to three months in prison for social disturbance. "That's a little harsh," you might say. But, wait until you see his boxer shorts...i'd have put him away for life!

Shane Grows his Own...ummm

Shane McGowan and his partner Mary Victoria-Clarke star in their own gardening show tonight. I'm sure Shane is not averse to growing his own Poitin and has more than most of us in common with Vegetables but tonight he gets to be a toothless Diarmuid Gavin...Here are some of Shane's finer moments:

The lesson here is NEVER ask if Shane is drinking water:


Forgot about this. I remeber being in Melbourne at a Pogues gig and he needed a stool after attempting to stand for a full 2 minutes!!



Keep an eye out for Matt Dillon in this Classic:

SOMETHING FUNNY FOR MONDAY...IS THAT O...KAY? :-)

This man sold out 20 dates in Manchester in less than an hour. He is coming to Ireland in 2011....tickets are on sale now cos they reckon demand will be huge!




IF ANY HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCE EVER GIVES YOU TROUBLE...YOU NEED TO CALL THIS GUY:



GAGA FOR LADY?
Did you catch Lady Gaga on X-Factor? Dressed like a demented blonde Transformer, she paraded around a bath that looked like it had been borrowed off the set of The Borrowers. I also happened to notice a toilet bowl on stage, which I presumed was there after Joe McElderry controversially produced a stool on stage the week before. Fortunately, Gaga was using it only to sit at her piano:



...I think may have got the idea from somewhere else...ummm i wonder where:

TIGER WOODS IN C.G.I. RE-ENACTMENT

FOUR!!!!!!!!!! That's the number of ladies that have come forward to say that the Woodsman drove up their fairways. Here's a very special take on the whole affair. This might look like another Tiger Woods computer game, (although it does feature some savage swings mainly from his wife) but it is an actual news report from China featuring computer graphics to recreate the fateful night when he couldn't see the woods for the tree.

It gets particularly heated at 01:59 when Robot Elin swings for her husband's head...like Tekken with affairs:



And if you fancy really getting into Tiger's Plus Four golfing pants then check out his lastest game.

JUST CLICK ON THE PIC AND START DRIVING LIKE A MAD YOKE!

MOMENT OF LEN

We all need a time when we kick back, throw off the socks, don the smoking jacket and chillax. Even if you have a heart like a swinging brick this will make you smile. So, this is what you do...think of the one thing that is making youi really angry at the moment; it could be Sepp Twatter of F.I.F.A., it coulf be Mother Nature and the rain, it could be Finance Minister Brian Lenihan and his axe, it could even be Bertie Ahern being allowed back on TV even though he is a gangster and a crook...aaannnddddd relax. Just play this video and all that anger will disappear in an instant:

Unless, of course you despise fluffy cute kittens and they l;eave your eyes with a poisonous rash. If so, this video is best left avoided.

COFFEE DISASTER!

Yes, i managed to spill the beans and covered my desk in my brown muck. I have been doing the Rooster now for nearly four years and this is the first time that I have actually caused a spill. Usually, I dribble but the jitters got me this morning and my hand just flung out during Showbiz Bits. It is not just mere coincidence that i was criticising Simon Cowell and THEN knocked it over. He IS the Darth Vader of music...


I will bury the sheets of paper out the back put an X on the soil and people in a hundred years will think a treasure map is buried there...or just some illegal dumping...whichever.


JESUS, GREAT NEWS. A REPLAY HAS BEEN ANNOUNCED BETWEEN IRELAND AND FRANCE...ALTHOUGH THE FRENCH ARE INSISTING WE PLAY IN PARIS:




OH AND THEY CHOOSE THE REFEREE:



And finally please pray for John & Edward. They don't be well:



I was hoping one of them would barrel into a tree...no such luck :-(

TIGER IN THE ROUGH!

Tiger Woods drove into a tree (irony?) after an alleged argument with his wife over another lady. Here is his statement. The Sun are saying that his wife "Elin was said to have flown into a blind rage following a row over claims in a magazine that Tiger had an affair with a stunning New York party girl." Speculation is mounting that he had infact already met this mistress many years ago, and i have the proof:


Nice pants... :-S

He has been pretty OPEN with his other lovers in the past.


"Ooh, easy tiger" "Shut up...RAARRRRRRRR"

Speculation is rife that after she imposed a sex ban on him he just flew into the arms of a pretty nightclub hostess due to frustration. Just check out his right arm mid ban...FREAKY:


Tiger Woods now sponsored by spinach.

This week i have been mostly feeling sick :-(
Things seem to have taken on a Biblical theme of late. Cork got hit by the floods, then the Rooster gets hit with a double plague, knocking out myself and the Tall Guy. I am just waiting for the millions of locusts that are surely bound for the studio!

But, before we get swept away by the wrath of God, i have a big favurrrrr to ask :-) The Red Rooster has been nominated by Entertainment.ie in their Annual Awards. We are up for Best Breakfast Show and KC id up for Sexiest Radio Voice! If anything we have to kick start KC's career working on saucy phone lines...not a day goes by when he doesn't yearn for those day.

Please go here - http://entertainment.ie/pages/annualawards/default.asp

And PLEASE VOTE as many times as you want!

THE MUPPETS ARE BACK!!



SOME CLASSIC COMEDY FROM A GENIUS. Okay, he wears high heels and make-up. That i can dig, there's nothing wrong with an aul blast of blusher...i just have to draw the line at spikey shoes although they would give me a few extra inches...mmmmmmmm.


PLUS CHECK OUT THE LATEST INSTALLMENT FROM ARANMAN. THIS WEEKS FEATURES PAT BUTCHER, COATIGANS, CLOCKWORK ORANGE, JEDWARD, BLATHNAID NI CHOIFAIGH AND LOADS OF HAIRY HANDS...AAAARRGGGHHHHHHHHH

ARANMAN:YOUR FOOTBALLING PHILANTHROPIST